Week 1
We Listen
We get a clear picture of who or what you lost, what changed afterward, and how the loss is showing up in your life now. We also want to know what is still working.
Grief Counseling in Denver
Grief Counseling for Men in Denver
You lost someone or something that mattered. Months later, maybe years later, it is still affecting your sleep, your marriage, your work, or how much you drink. Many men we work with have heard the same voice in their head: It has been long enough. I should be over this by now.
That voice is not a good measure of whether you need help. Grief does not follow a simple timetable. If a loss is still affecting your relationships, health, work, or ability to live the way you want, it may be worth doing something about it.
We provide grief counseling for men in Denver and across the Front Range, with in-person appointments at our Vine Street and Mississippi Avenue offices and online therapy throughout Colorado.
Specialty
Men's grief & loss
Locations
Vine Street · Mississippi Avenue · Online
The Signals We See
How Grief Actually Shows Up in Men
Many men we work with do not walk in saying, “I’m grieving.” They come in because their partner is worried about their drinking, their kids are tiptoeing around them, they are working constantly, or they are losing their temper over things that normally would not bother them.
A lot of the men we see are still functioning. They are going to work, taking care of their families, getting things done. From the outside, they may even look fine.
But something has changed.
Grief in men can look like this
- 01Anger, irritability, or a shorter fuse
- 02Drinking, smoking, or using more than before
- 03Working longer hours or staying constantly busy
- 04Pulling away from friends, hobbies, sex, or family
- 05Trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or shutting your mind off
- 06Headaches, fatigue, stomach problems, muscle tension, or feeling physically worn down
- 07Guilt, regret, loneliness, or repeatedly thinking about what you should have done differently
- 08Losing interest in things that used to matter to you
- 09Picking fights, taking unnecessary risks, or feeling restless without knowing why
For some men, grief shows up more readily through action, irritability, work, substance use, or withdrawal than through openly feeling sad. Grief researchers sometimes describe a more action-oriented grieving style as instrumental grief.
We do not assume a man is “not grieving” because he is not crying or talking about the loss all the time. We look at what changed after the loss and how it is affecting his life now.
Self-Check · ~90 seconds
How is grief showing up for you?
The Body Carries It
Why Grief Can Feel Physical
Grief is not only emotional. A major loss can affect sleep, concentration, appetite, energy, muscle tension, digestion, and the body's stress response.
You may notice that your sleep becomes lighter or broken. Your jaw stays tight. Your stomach is off. Your shoulders hurt.
You feel exhausted even after spending enough time in bed.
For some men, the physical symptoms are what finally get their attention.
That does not mean the symptoms are “all in your head.” It means grief can affect both psychological and physical functioning.
Good grief therapy is not about making you sit in a room and talk about the loss endlessly. We look at what is still getting triggered, what you are avoiding, what has changed since the loss, and what is interfering with your life.
Then we decide what actually needs treatment.
Tired of feeling stuck in alarm mode? A consultation is a low-pressure place to start.
Book a Grief Therapy Consult
The Voice That Keeps Men Out
The “I Should Be Over It” Trap
“I should be over this by now” is something we hear often from men who have waited months or years before asking for help.
Grief does not run on a simple timetable. There is no point after which you are supposed to stop missing someone or being affected by what happened.
Some losses become easier to carry with time. Others continue affecting sleep, relationships, substance use, work, concentration, or the ability to enjoy life.
That does not tell us anything about how tough you are.
It tells us there is more to understand.
A loss can continue influencing your life even when you are not consciously thinking about it all day.
Sometimes that looks like drinking more.
Sometimes it is withdrawing from your partner.
Sometimes it is guilt about what happened.
Sometimes you fill every available hour with work because slowing down means thinking about it.
Sometimes you are simply not the same person you were before the loss, and you are not sure what to do with that.
If that sounds familiar, therapy gives us a place to figure out what is happening instead of assuming you should already have solved it.
When Grief Becomes More Complicated
Some grief remains intense and disruptive long after a death.
For bereavement following the death of someone close, clinicians may assess for Prolonged Grief Disorder when persistent grief symptoms are causing significant impairment. A diagnosis depends on more than how much time has passed.
Other major losses, such as divorce, estrangement, serious illness, infertility, loss of a career, or major life transitions, can also produce significant grief even though they would not be diagnosed as Prolonged Grief Disorder.
The label matters less than understanding what is keeping you stuck and what kind of treatment is most likely to help.
A Plain Comparison
Grief vs. Depression
Grief and depression can overlap. This is not a diagnostic checklist, but these differences can help explain what we listen for.
Grief May Look More Like
Depression May Look More Like
Pain that comes in waves or becomes stronger around reminders
Low mood or emotional numbness that is present much of the time
Longing for the person, relationship, role, or life that was lost
Loss of interest or pleasure across many areas of life
Periods of sadness mixed with moments of connection or enjoyment
Difficulty experiencing pleasure even when something positive happens
Guilt focused on the loss or things you wish you had done differently
Broader feelings of worthlessness, failure, or excessive self-criticism
Energy that may improve between harder periods
Persistent low energy or slowed functioning
Connection with other people may still feel meaningful
Withdrawal may become more pervasive
Carrying Something Old?
The consultation is the first move. We will tell you plainly whether we think we can help.
Inside the Room
What Grief Therapy Looks Like Here
Many men who contact us have never been to therapy and are not sure what actually happens once they sit down. One concern we hear is that talking about the loss will only make things worse. Good grief therapy should have more structure than that.
Our Denver offices are located on Vine Street near City Park and Mississippi Avenue near Washington Park. Therapy is also available online throughout Colorado.
Our grief team is led by Stephen Rodgers, LCSW, an EMDR Certified Therapist and EMDRIA Approved Consultant. In addition to treating clients, Stephen provides consultation to other EMDR clinicians.
Our grief therapists include Laura Helbling, LCSW, and Megan Hall, LCSW, along with other members of the Denver Men's Therapy team.
Vine Street · City Park West
The First Three Sessions
Week 2
We Map
We identify the parts that seem to be keeping you stuck. That might include painful memories, guilt, avoidance, depression, increased drinking, relationship problems, sleep disruption, or physical symptoms.
Week 3
We Pick the Tools
We explain what we think is happening and what treatment approaches make sense. Early in therapy, you should have a clear understanding of what we are working on and why.
When EMDR Can Help with Grief
If part of your grief remains tied to a distressing memory, such as the phone call, the hospital room, the accident, the funeral, or the last conversation, EMDR therapy may be useful.
Some men know intellectually that the event is over but still have a strong emotional or physical reaction when the memory gets triggered. EMDR can help reduce the distress associated with memories that still feel immediate, overwhelming, or difficult to think about without getting pulled back into them.
We use EMDR when there is a specific reason to use it. EMDR is not the right treatment for every kind of grief. If grief is more diffuse, or if depression, relationship problems, substance use, guilt, or major life changes are playing a larger role, we may recommend something else.
Other Tools We Use
Not all grief calls for trauma processing. Sometimes therapy focuses on guilt or persistent thoughts about what you should have done differently. Sometimes it involves learning how to live with a relationship that ended without your choosing.
Sometimes grief and substance use have become tangled together and both need attention. Sometimes the work is about rebuilding relationships, reconnecting with parts of your life that disappeared after the loss, or figuring out who you are now.
Depending on what we find, treatment may draw from cognitive behavioral therapy, grief-focused psychotherapy, EMDR, trauma treatment, substance-use treatment, or other approaches. We choose the treatment based on what is actually happening, not because one therapy is our favorite.
Meet Our Grief Therapists
Most men book a consultation before they are certain about therapy. That is exactly what the consultation is for.
Book a Grief Therapy Consult
For the Partner, Parent, Sibling, or Adult Child
How to Help a Grieving Man You Love
This section is for the partner, parent, sibling, or adult child. The man in your life lost someone or something important. Since then, maybe he is drinking more, working later, snapping at the kids, pulling away from friends, or disappearing into his phone. He may be grieving, even if he does not call it grief.
You cannot force someone into therapy. You can make it easier for him to take the first step.
What Helps
- 01
Tell him what you are seeing without diagnosing him.
Instead of, “You are depressed,” try something concrete:
“You haven't been sleeping. You've been drinking more lately. You took the truck up to the cabin alone three weekends in a row. I'm worried about you.”
- 02
Name the loss directly.
You generally do not need to avoid the person's name or pretend the loss did not happen. Follow his lead, but do not assume mentioning the person will automatically make things worse.
- 03
Give him an easy next step.
Send him this page. Send him our number. Offer to sit with him while he makes the call.
Do not make the appointment for him unless he asks you to.
- 04
Take care of yourself too.
You are affected by this as well.
What Usually Does Not Help
- Using threats or ultimatums simply to force him to grieve differently.
- Repeating the same demand every day.
- Comparing him to someone who handled grief differently.
- Telling him he has been grieving long enough.
- Trying to diagnose him yourself.
Before You Book
Questions Men Ask Before Booking
We see the same five or six questions on most consultation calls. Here are the plain answers. If something on your mind is not here, the consultation is the right place to ask it.
Yes. The clinical term for grief that has not resolved on the standard timeline is complicated grief, and it is treatable. We see men two, five, and ten years out from a loss. The duration is not a barrier to good treatment. The work is the same: help the brain and body finish processing what they could not finish at the time. Book a consultation and we will tell you plainly whether we think we can help.
Yes. Many men book a consultation before they are sure therapy is the right move. The consult is a place to explain what happened, what is still costing you, and what kind of help you are looking for. We will talk through fit, scheduling, cost, and whether grief therapy, EMDR, depression counseling, or substance use support makes the most sense.
Yes, and it is worth addressing directly. Drinking can start as a way to sleep, shut off memories, or get through the evening. Over time, it can keep grief stuck and create new problems at home, work, and in your body. We treat grief and substance use together when they are tangled.
Grief is tied to a specific loss. The pain comes in waves linked to reminders, and your sense of self stays intact. Depression is more constant. The low mood is not tied to one event, pleasure feels muted, and self-criticism gets louder. The two often overlap, and we treat both. Depression counseling for men is its own specialty here, and the consultation call sorts out which one is going on.
Often, yes. Men are more likely to grieve through action, anger, work, alcohol, and withdrawal rather than tears and conversation. Both presentations are real grief, and both respond to treatment. A therapist trained in male-specific work knows to look for the action and anger expressions, not just the sadness. That is the specialty we built this practice around. A consultation call is the easiest way to test the fit.
Our Vine Street office is in Uptown Denver, near City Park and Capitol Hill. The Mississippi Avenue location sits near Cherry Creek and Glendale. Both offices have evening appointments. We also offer telehealth across Colorado if neither commute works for you. Pick whichever is easier and we will match you with a clinician who has openings there.
Denver Men's Therapy is a private pay practice. We do not bill insurance directly because the in-network model limits how often, how long, and what kind of treatment we can provide. Most plans with out-of-network benefits reimburse a portion of the cost, and we provide the superbill you need to submit. Call 720-295-4233 and the intake coordinator can walk you through your specific numbers.
There is no fixed length. Some men do focused work over eight to twelve sessions and feel meaningfully better. Others stay longer because they want to. We are not in the business of keeping you in therapy. Every six to eight weeks we check whether the work is still useful and adjust. You decide when you are done. If a clear endpoint matters to you, say that on the consultation call.
The Next Move
Talk to a Grief Therapist Today
You do not need to know what kind of grief this is, or how long it has been, or whether you qualify. If a loss is still costing you something, the consultation call is the right next step.
Book online or call 720-295-4233. We have evening appointments, two Denver offices, and telehealth across Colorado.
Read Laura Helbling's full bio if you want to start there.